Sunday, December 17, 2006

Rude Awakening...

Its 6:15am and I still can't get back to sleep. Why? At 3:30 am I was awoken by some extremely loud booming/crashing sound. It sounded like someone was in my house tossing around free weights tied to an elephant.

I take the nervous walk downstairs (boom) with the phone (boom) in my hand. Is it the furnace (boom, BOOM)? Is it a car (BOOOM!) door?



Nope, its some dude trying to break down my front door.

Why? Who's to say. Before I really knew what was going on, I turned on the porch light and peer out the window of the door. There's some guy standing there. This guy looks up at me and he looks to be covered in blood, but thankfully he stops trying to break in. He just stands there. Every now and then he'd look around, sometimes right at me. I give his description to the 911 operator and I wait for what seems a liftetime for an officer to show up. I'm nervously fingering an implement of galvanized pipe I playfully call my mace and this guy starts to slump against the door frame. Its clear he's about out of it. The 911 operator seems to think that this guy was attacked and is now seeking help. "Is he breathing ok? Can you see a wound? Where
did the primary assailant go?"

What am I, Columbo? I don't see any wounds now, but if this jackhole gets in my house I'll sure as hell make a few.

The cops arrive and tell me he doesn't really know his name and that the 'blood' on his head is actually vomit. Well, ain't that nice.

Oh, yeah, UNL had graduation today. Welcome to the real world dude. Now get in the damb patrol car and don't come back.

Now the deadbolt and door handle on my door are all fubar and the door has some structural damage (thank $DIETY for solid oak doors). Guess I know what I'll be doing tomorrow.

The real kicker is that this isn't the first time this has happened. After the 1998 UNL/Texas game I had almost the exact same thing happen. After pounding like mad on my door that dude tried to break into my friends car.

Ah, the joys of city living....


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