My 'N' Report, Game 1: Maine
This is my first year with season tickets to Nebraska Cornhusker football games. Those of you in the know know that college football season opened up this week. Here's my report for the game, Nebraska vs. Maine.
Crowd: We had some jackass in our section who would not sit down. A cop (with a gun mind you) asked him nicely to sit down. This Mensa reject argues from across the section. Realizing that the cop is still asking him to sit down he stomps over to argue face to face with him. "I don't have to sit down. I paid to watch the game!", he exclaims. The cop point out the people behind him also paid to watch the game. This cow turd with a mullet remains unmoved. He returns to his seat, or his stand in this case. The guy behind him, two rows up yells, "SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU ASSHOLE!". I quite agreed with the sentiment. Our contendor for fan of the year spins around and yells back "DON'T CALL ME AN ASSHOLE YOU DICKHEAD!" It was like the presidential debate minus Jim Lehrer. At this point our armed governmental representive steps in, "IF I HEAR ONE MORE SWEAR WORD OUT OF ANY OF YOU, I'm KICKING YOU OUT. NOW SIT THE FUCK DOWN!" It was a nice moment of Zen. But I missed the first few plays watching our sectional comedy.
At the end of the game a young girl of about 10=12 years old puked on the steps leading out of the section. BAD FORM! It stank about as bad as the Husker play, but more on that later.
I give the crowd a C-
Student Section: The gate I have to use is NEXT to the gate they let students into. My gate was PACKED with yelling, super drunk students who don't know how to behave. It must have been over 100 degrees in the concourse and no one was moving. It was frustrating. Once I hit the stairs to go to my section it was smooth sailing. I wouldn't have even brought up the student section but when the stadium announcer asked for a moment of silence for New Orleans and all the Katrina victims 70,000 people went quiet and 10,000 students took the opportunity to start a "GO BIG RED" chant. I was stunned. Their parents must be so proud.
Student secction: A grade inflated D
Huskers vs. Maine: Our defensive line looked good. Our special teams were hot and cold. We beat a Div 1AA team by only 18 points. I told my collegue I attend games with, "We should line Memorial Stadium with particle detectors so that when the program finally does collapse fully we can observe whatever flies out. There might be a Nobel Prize in that somewhere."
Huskers: ??? Next weak's game against Wake Forest will be even less enlightening. I give this performance 2 puke covered stairs out of 5.
So that's all for this week. More 'N' Reports Next week.
Cheers,
Carl
Crowd: We had some jackass in our section who would not sit down. A cop (with a gun mind you) asked him nicely to sit down. This Mensa reject argues from across the section. Realizing that the cop is still asking him to sit down he stomps over to argue face to face with him. "I don't have to sit down. I paid to watch the game!", he exclaims. The cop point out the people behind him also paid to watch the game. This cow turd with a mullet remains unmoved. He returns to his seat, or his stand in this case. The guy behind him, two rows up yells, "SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU ASSHOLE!". I quite agreed with the sentiment. Our contendor for fan of the year spins around and yells back "DON'T CALL ME AN ASSHOLE YOU DICKHEAD!" It was like the presidential debate minus Jim Lehrer. At this point our armed governmental representive steps in, "IF I HEAR ONE MORE SWEAR WORD OUT OF ANY OF YOU, I'm KICKING YOU OUT. NOW SIT THE FUCK DOWN!" It was a nice moment of Zen. But I missed the first few plays watching our sectional comedy.
At the end of the game a young girl of about 10=12 years old puked on the steps leading out of the section. BAD FORM! It stank about as bad as the Husker play, but more on that later.
I give the crowd a C-
Student Section: The gate I have to use is NEXT to the gate they let students into. My gate was PACKED with yelling, super drunk students who don't know how to behave. It must have been over 100 degrees in the concourse and no one was moving. It was frustrating. Once I hit the stairs to go to my section it was smooth sailing. I wouldn't have even brought up the student section but when the stadium announcer asked for a moment of silence for New Orleans and all the Katrina victims 70,000 people went quiet and 10,000 students took the opportunity to start a "GO BIG RED" chant. I was stunned. Their parents must be so proud.
Student secction: A grade inflated D
Huskers vs. Maine: Our defensive line looked good. Our special teams were hot and cold. We beat a Div 1AA team by only 18 points. I told my collegue I attend games with, "We should line Memorial Stadium with particle detectors so that when the program finally does collapse fully we can observe whatever flies out. There might be a Nobel Prize in that somewhere."
Huskers: ??? Next weak's game against Wake Forest will be even less enlightening. I give this performance 2 puke covered stairs out of 5.
So that's all for this week. More 'N' Reports Next week.
Cheers,
Carl
posted by Carl at 4:45 PM
3 Comments:
Hey! I resemble that remark. ;)
I assume you mean either Zathras, Za thras or Zath ras.
Actually I finally got the second Judiciary bit up there just a couple days ago.
Yeah, yeah, I've finally posted, so quit your whining.
Mark, whatever do you mean? Surely you don't want the Narn Bat Squad to come out...
It's just not easy to render subtleties of pronunciation with so few letters, and so if i just used a conventional spelling, Zathras would be easily confused with Zathras. Just ask Zathras; he can probably tell you all about it.
"...no, not the one."
Post a Comment
<< Home